apa yang sedang kamu tulis?

crissy Filed Under:
Jujur, pada saat itu pun saya bahkan tak terlalu menyukai blog-blog lokal yang saya temui, yang kebanyakan isinya remeh-temeh, diary-ish, atau dalam istilah saya pribadi: ‘diare kata-kata’. Encer dan nggak penting.

Cuplikan ini saya temukan saat sedang blog-walking, dan accidentally singgah di rumah kata-kata Dee.
kalimat ini kembali membawa saya kepada perenungan, "untuk apa blog yang saya tulis ini?". ketika melihat ke belakang, saya merasa hanya seperti memindahkan isi diary kuno saya pada suatu media digital yang lebih canggih, namun secara konten, tetap saja itu curahan hati personal yang mungkin tidak membawa dampak apa-apa bagi yang membaca; kecuali fans saya (mungkin). :)

kembali dalam perenungan, sebenarnya apa tujuan hadirnya blog?
hingga saat ini saya masih meyakini hanya ada satu; berbagi.
memang tidak ada syarat khusus mengenai apa yang harus dibagikan. namun berbagi melibatkan 2 bahkan lebih pihak, tidak hanya satu saja. dan tentu, ketika ada lebih dari 2 oknum, timbulah interaksi.
interaksi yang mungkin sedianya menyangkut interest mengenai apa yang dibagikan.

seorang teman baik yang kerap saya panggil dengan julukan Nii-Nii pernah mengatakan bisa jadi blog adalah satu usaha para manusia untuk dikenali, atau lebih tepatnya karena ingin dikenali. yang lain berkata, sebagai ajang meraup ketenaran.
sebenarnya ketika menulis dalam blog, siapa yang kamu harapkan untuk membacanya? atau kepada siapa sebenarnya kamu menulis?

saya rasa itulah bedanya diary dengan blog. dengan kesadaran penuh kita mengetahui menulis diary adalah untuk konsumsi pribadi, yang pasti tidak ada orang lain selain diri kita yang diijinkan membaca. tapi blog?
melihat semua fasilitas yang blogger sediakan, tentunya kita secara langsung mengerti bahwa tulisan yang ditorehkan pun nantinya akan menjadi milik publik.
mungkin seperti hakekat menyanyi, sebenarnya ketika nge-blog kita tidak lagi hanya sekedar berbagi, namun lebih jauh kita sedang memberi.

saya sendiri masih meraba-raba eksistensi blog saya. dengan campur-aduknya posting yang ada, mulai dari tulisan yang harusnya disimpan sendiri, hingga prosa-prosa melankolis yang pernah saya 'terbitkan'; semuanya mengarah pada satu proses pencarian.

“Dengan membuat sendiri setiap posting, mengumpulkan setiap remah ide menjadi bangunan utuh, kita bisa belajar banyak tentang proses. Proses memberi kita kesalahan, dan pelajaran. Ia menempa kita menjadi seorang blogger yang lebih baik, lebih baik lagi, dan lebih baik lagi.”

kalimat Ndoro Kakung -seorang advans blogger; itu mengizinkan saya untuk kembali bangkit dan melangkah.
entah apa isi posting-posting saya berikutnya ke depan, mungkin masih akan tanpa arah, namun satu hal yang saya tahu kini: ketika nge-blog saya juga sedang berbicara. bukan pada tembok, namun kepada seseorang, atau beberapa orang.

mari bersama-sama berproses untuk belajar berbagi dengan lebih banyak memberi.
sesuatu yang tidak hanya 'ada', tetapi juga berisi, bahkan membekas.
bukan hanya untuk sekedar menambah angka pada counter box atau memenuhi comment box, namun juga untuk menambah dan memenuhi pikiran dan hati manusia lainnya, lewat bisikan tulisan kita yang mungkin masih terdengar begitu lirih.

selamat berbagi, dan jangan berhenti :)

xxx

goodbye

crissy Filed Under:

I can’t explain what i’m feeling right now. It’s a total mix of a spoonful of boredom, a little bit melancholy and which comes recently; a teaspoon of loss.


A shocking news came to me in a sudden as I browsed through my Facebook account few days ago. It got my attention more to me than the MJ’s hysteria. A good (‘good’ here is defined because he’s a good –kind guy. It’s not explaining the condition of our relationship, literally. Instead, I don’t have any idea how to describe ours, sadly.) friend of mine, an old one, just lost his father who’d suffered from lung cancer.


I knew his father. Long time ago when I was in high school, I ever visited his house, and by coinsidence it was the same time as his father went home and he greeted me with some joke. The memories still stuck within my head clearly. And now I heard him passed away.

I don’t know what to say.


It’s not my first time to hear anything about death. About 2 years ago, my grandma died because of heart attack and I saw her (right before my eyes) dying, and then lost her final breath. That was scary, and I couldn’t sleep well for almost 4 months because of that scene.

But the utmost thing I was scared of is the feeling of the loss.

I’m not good at saying goodbye, neither do I like it.

It’s like you have to adjust your heart and your knowledge from the beginning to ensure your heart and mind that this is it; no more ‘her’ or ‘him’ for the rest of your days. Or maybe the cliché one; “he’s happy now.. somewhere.”

Yeah right.


However, what I think is that what these people need the most to bring back the normal life after the loss is just time.

No such a thing like supporting words, or too-much attention can get him back to his usual feelings. Nothing can bring back the dead to become alive once again. Like Enya said, only time (can heal).

Break-ups, movings, and deaths. All sums up a phrase everyone dislikes: goodbye.

The news unfortunately brings me back to some memories I’ve almost forgot. And in a few seconds, I kinda miss him. He’s a cute guy, and nice, and fun. :)

I tried to recall every single detail we’d ever had. And that made me even feel worse. In another word, I may say that our relationship that time ended not in a good way. I thought it was because of my saying about my past. I thought he would understand, and encouraging me. Instead of doing that, he stayed away. And then in just one click of fingers, we talked no more to each other. And that confused me, and was hurt. But I think he’s hurt too.

Before deciding to attend the ceremony at Adijasa, I got too much considerations within my head about going or not-going. It’s a dilema. To remember what’d happened between us, and to show up there pretending like nothing’s ever happened. That’s fake, but what should I do then?

So I came.

And after seeing his face after such a long time, I was relieved. It’s OK.

Maybe we won’t be as friendly as back then, but at least, I’d fixed the broken knot that night. And I hope my coming won’t be seen as only a ‘normal’ tradition to show that I was sorry because of his papa, but also as a hidden sign, that I care and he’s still a good friend to me.


i hope.


xxx



The Season of Freedom!

crissy Filed Under:
it's been a million ages since i posted my last entry! :)
well, i'd been busy around with the campus stuffs. you know, projects, assigments, and tests!
all haunted me night and day, never stop.

but hey, this is the good news! i'm having my LONG holidays nowww..
it's so relieving to know.
finally, i can have little space to breathe.

well, i'm too excited to show you recent pictures i got which inspired me quite much.
it's kinda a prelude to open this holiday season.
a mood created to draw us more closely to the days we've been waiting for.
the spirit, the laughters, the joy.. it couldn't be any better than this!











Surabaya is together with us celebrating the months of freedom. well, not literally.. :) but at the same time, they supported House of Sampoerna; a museum and a cafe powered by Sampoerna Foundation- to offer a free city heritage trip in Surabaya!
they offer a two-hour track to get around Tunjungan, Tugu Pahlawan, and some other historical places in the city.
it's free of charge! we will take the tour on a bus, with a tour guide (let's hope it's the pro one), and permitted to walk around the spots for several minutes.

and the next good news is that my friends and I (read it: ROCKAFELLA) are planning to visit it tomorrow!
yeap, spending the first days of our hols in some beautiful places we even never realized about.
i think it's quite a great idea..
we don't spend the days on some expensive stuffs, not also only for having lame fun.. but we do something's quite valuable.
isn't it nice?

and here's the gang of tomorrow's trip (the photo was taken at Kampung Batik Jetis, Sidoarjo -a nice spot to take great shots!)





so, tell me what's your holiday plan?
hope it will be the very nice, fun, and relaxing one!

xxx